Family Business Part 7

Family Business Part 7

Romance is in the air as family, friends and a Who’s Who of the garden furniture Industry gather for Lorenzo’s 50th. But romance is the last thing on Massimo’s mind as he struggles to be in two places at once.

                                                                     Family Business Part 7

To: Rosa
From: Laura
Date: 23 Nov
Subject: Where did you get to, you minx?

Rosie, Rose!

So, you didn’t come home for breakfast … There’s only one explanation I can think of, so you’d better come clean ASAP.

What a dirty stop out.

Yours with bated breath

Laura x

                                                                     Family Business Part 7

To: Laura
From: Rosa
Date: 24 Nov
Subject: Lorenzo’s Party – The Director’s Cut

Dearest Peg Leg

I’ve decided to write all this down since it might give you a bit more entertainment than a phone call – besides, it’s easier to be unguarded on a private email, than on a phone when one of the family might well be listening in!

Firstly, I admit, I did spend the night with Alex Garden, but before you fall off your chaise longue in excitement, not like that. It was really great to see him, and very nice to actually have someone to steer me away from the family side of things which went pear-shaped pretty early on. We had a great time catching up on each other’s news, and then I went up to his room for a nightcap. (I thought it was rather classy of him to book himself into the Country Club for the night, rather than join the traditional scramble for one of the only 2 village cabs). I’ve never actually been in one of the bedrooms, have you? Very swanky but surprisingly chic I thought. Lots of muted tweeds and suede.

We opened a seriously good bottle of port that Alex appropriated from the bar downstairs and by the time I’d realized what the time was, the place was deserted and I was too drunk to a) call a cab or b) get a lift from anyone. I did go and knock on Flora’s door but there was a fair amount of rustling and scampering, so rather than embarrass the old dear with her amoureuse, I went back to Alex’s room and spent the night (what was left of it) on his sofa.

Now that’s out of the way, I think I should start with the stars of the show – Lorenzo’s family. Lorenzo was swanning around like the lord of the manor – loving every minute. You would have died to see his shirt though – definitely cut for a younger, sleeker man! Actually I think he had a good time (he’s too self-obsessed to worry too much about the freak show he’s married to, and as for noticing that Maria’s growing up too fast, not a chance). Carla’s lips haven’t calmed down at all; she really does have a whopping trout pout. No one knew what to say. And she did wear a silver lame mini dress that made her look a bit like a Bernard Matthew’s turkey all baco-foiled up for the oven. As the evening went on, she got quite tight and at one point, came back from the ladies with loo paper caught in her tights. Given that her skirt was so short, she looked like she’d got a tail! It gave her twerking a whole new dimension on the dance floor. Sweet!

As for our niece, Maria was wearing something scarily similar which only succeeded in highlighting how alike their mannerisms are. Anyone else would chew off their own foot rather than resemble Carla; but I suppose that only goes to show that they really two peas in a pod! Anyhow, Maria got her hands on far too many alcopops and made quite a spectacle of herself with the warehouse guys. At one point she was dancing on the metal patio tables – and you know Staveley Country Club, it’s only used to that sort of action during a hunt ball. If I was Lorenzo, I’d be rather worried by just how friendly Maria’s getting with the younger lads – I foresee trouble ahead…

The warehouse crew was hilarious; first there, and last to leave by all accounts. They all took full advantage of the free bar. When I left in the morning, old John’s legs were sticking out of a rhododendron bush! Garry got all goofy and affectionate and started hugging everyone in sight including Lorenzo which just goes to show how smashed he must have been. Meanwhile Peter was actually so drunk that he threw up over the bar while ordering a larger. He didn’t miss a beat, just picked up the new pint and carried on drinking. You’d think a grown up like him would know better but I suppose he was just enjoying being away from the Mrs for the evening.

Things came to blows with Flashy Frank and Silvio, who were both determined to have mum on their arms all night. This in turn annoyed Pearl who couldn’t get either of them to notice her despite a shocking leopard print number that any drag queen would be proud to own. Mum was too busy coping with the fall-out from Massimo’s Major Muck Up to notice any of them. Frank’s final attention seeking act was to leave pretty early, ostentatiously giving Pearl a lift – but I think that may have backfired (ha, ha!). We know her better than he does, and although he’s clearly a man of the world, would you trust any male alone with Pearl on those country lanes in the dead of night?

Damn, a chap’s just turned up to collect a rattan outdoor furniture set and there’s no one here to deal with him. Let’s turn this into a virtue, and I’ll email you chapter 2 on the party, when I’ve got a moment. It’s good for an invalid to have something to look forward to!

X Rose

                                                                     Family Business Part 7

To: Laura
From: Rosa
Date: 25 Nov
Subject: Lorenzo’s Party – Massimo’s Major Muck Up

Laura, hi

Now for part 2 – by which I mainly mean, Massimo’s love triangle. He turned up nice and early with Poppy and her dad. He’d obviously been to collect them both and was doing the dutiful boyfriend act. However, he’d no sooner stuffed a glass of champagne into their hands and said a brief hello to Lorenzo that he disappeared, only to reappear about 25 minutes later with Lucie from the Buck and Fart. She looked amazing- very cheap red dress but perfect lithe twenty-something body. All the warehouse chaps who hang out at the pub were all over her, which Massimo didn’t like, so he started paying her a lot of attention. So much so that Poppy started to notice and got rather upset. In turn, her dad Dick picked up on the atmosphere and spent most of the night, looking like thunder and trying to find Massimo (who was hiding from him). Mum got involved because a) she likes Poppy and felt responsible for her shitty son’s behavior (yep, it was so bad and so obvious that even the devoted mother’s rose tinted specs came off for a minute); b) she likes Dick even more, and felt really embarrassed. Hence she had no time for Flashy Frank’s shenanigans.

Things got a bit more interesting when Charlie noticed that Poppy was being a miserable wallflower and he turned his considerable charms on her. He whipped her outside for a heart to heart on the patio loungers, all snuggled under those fake fur throws. It looked very romantic. It took him about ten minutes to get her to forget about her two-timing jerk of a boyfriend and by the looks of it, Poppy had a ball after all. It was all acted out on the dance floor for all to see. Not sure how it ended – or how that’s going to play in the office. After all, its one thing for Massimo to treat Poppy like dirt but if another man looks at her? Massimo was the only one who didn’t really see what was happening between Charlie and Poppy. He was keeping a very low profile by this point.

In turn, this didn’t suit Lucie who having put 100% effort into a show stopping appearance was not going to hide away discreetly. She soon got fed up with following him around in the shadows and started strutting her stuff in the disco. Needless to say, her usual group of admirers from the pub was quick to join her. Massimo was too scared of Dick, and Poppy (I hope) to try to put things right with Lucie, so I believe he went home alone. Is this some sort of record of ineptitude by our little brother? Turn up with 2 girlfriends and go home with none?

Lots of love, Rose x

                                                                       Family Business Part 7

To: Rosa
From: Laura
Date: 27 Nov
Subject: Outdoor Garden Furniture show, Guangzhou

Dear Rosa

Where’s Nick staying while he’s in Guangzhou? Please tell me it’s the Holiday Inn – that’s where Charlie and Lorenzo are booked – until next Tuesday. Wouldn’t it be funny if they all ended up together after all these years of cold war? Lorenzo and Charlie flew out together yesterday – Lorenzo still very grumpy because he didn’t want Charlie along for the ride. Massimo told Lorenzo that Flora was the one who paid for Charlie’s flight so he’s now feeling very paranoid. He couldn’t very well make a fuss about it, and he hasn’t let Charlie know that he knows. Lorenzo is convinced that Charlie’s there as a spy for big sis and he’s even worried that Flora and Charlie might be planning to take over the firm and oust him from his particularly comfortable throne.

Come to think of it, Charlie doesn’t know that Massimo or I know either. He’s pretending he’s a bit of a player, who doesn’t mind paying for this sort of thing if it’s a career investment. He has mum fooled. She thinks by paying his own fare, he’s demonstrating his commitment to Edge’s Outdoor Furniture. It makes him even more wonderful in her eyes.

Still, while Charlie’s away, Massimo’s really putting in the hours with Poppy. I overheard him booking Luton Hoo for supper yesterday. I hope she chooses the most expensive thing on the menu.

X Laura

Family Business Part 7

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